Third-most famous beard, and a dummy's guide to 'bastard'

Beard face
The year has started on a disappointing note for Monty Panesar. Winner of the Beard of the Year award last year, he has slipped down to having the third best beard in the country. He was beaten to the top two spots by Robert Plant, the Led Zeppelin front man, and Rafael Benitez, Liverpool FC's manager, in a competition held by the Beard Liberation Front, an informal network of beard wearers. The winners, according to Keith Flett, Beard Liberation Front organiser, have "stylish beards and are promoting a new 21st-century image of the hirsute." Where is WG Grace when we need him?

It's not cricket
Such was the scale of the umpiring saga during the Sydney Test that it the concern over the use of technology echoed in tennis courts too. Lleyton Hewitt, former world No. 1, a victim of "poor calls" in his loss to Chris Guccione, labelled the umpiring as "pretty ordinary" while stating, "I feel like the cricketers, I think. What's going on with all the refs these days? They're useless."

Hewitt also criticised the umpires for relying on Hawk-Eye too much. "I think central umpires have probably gone into their shell more so since Hawk-Eye has come in, which is fine in major tournaments. But at the smaller tournaments where you don't have Hawk-Eye you have to stand up and make decisions." Major thinking required.

Victory for all
While the furore over the Indian cricket tour raged on, Brett Lee and Mike Hussey were busy on the sets of "Victory", a Bollywood blockbuster featuring international stars including the Australian duo. There have been calls in India for the public to boycott the film when it comes out. Amid the recent tussle between the two sides, the film producers were far from worried. The US$ 7million production is the story of a young, impoverished cricketer who realises his dream of playing cricket for India. Anu Sharma, the producer of the film, eased off notions that the Australians might be led into playing the bad guys by saying that Australians were the most popular guys in India. With the burning effigies and the likes, Sharma's comments might be a tad off the pace.

Move on, Steve
Dickie Bird has called on Steve Bucknor to retire from the game in the wake of his poor umpiring in the Sydney Test that led to massive protest and his removal from the following Test. Bird, who retired from international cricket in 1996, said: "When you get to that age... I have said to Steve, 'Don't go on too long, get out while you are still respected.' I think he has gone on too long." Darrell Hair, who was ranked as the second best umpire in the world when removed from the elite panel following the Oval saga, also believes time has caught up with Bucknor. "I feel for Steve. In a way, it's probably the best for him to stand down and relieve the pressure a little bit," Hair said.

Justice for all
Hartley Alleyne , a former West Indian cricketer, has been given permission to reside in the UK for three more years after facing deportation despite being a resident for 29 years. Alleyne, who played for Barbados, Worcestershire, Kent and Natal before coaching youngsters in Canterbury, described the decision as "winning the Lotto". He had applied for a permit in 2005 when he began working as a sports coach and resident boarding assistant at a school in Canterbury. But his application was turned down because he did not hold an NVQ Level 3 certificate. "It has been a very long, hard slog, which has been dragging on for some eight months," Alleyne said. "But I'm glad common sense has at last prevailed."

Quote of the week
"This [bastard] is a serious term. It has a lot of bad meanings back in India and we are very sensitive about these issues. In India, we do not have children without getting married. It is a taboo and it is not accepted in the society. A child born out of wedlock is considered to be very low and an outcast. We don't use this word at all, only when you really want to abuse somebody in a derogatory manner."

Chetan Chauhan, India's manager, tells Sydney Morning Herald why calling someone a bastard is far worse than calling someone a monkey, which, according to him, is not an insult in India.

© Faras Ghani 2008
Published on Cricinfo Jan 14, 2008